1. You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name (5 points).

2. You steal light bulbs from your neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out).

3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points).

4. You put out last year's stale candy canes for children (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.

5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends (5 points for each infraction).

6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.

7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party).

8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own (Southern California only, others ignore: 5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car).

9. After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).

10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no (20 points).

Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.

20-30: You are just a cheeseball.

30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.

50-100: Grinch... move over!

Top 10 Signs You Bought A Bad Christmas Tree:

10. Two feet tall, forty feet wide

9. Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?"

8. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers stuck into it

7. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride

6. Each branch has "Duraflame" printed on it

5. Keeps heckling while you try to do a lame top ten list

4. It's very small and says "Air Freshener" on it

3. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours

2. Some guy named Mujibur puts a cheap Statue of Liberty on top of it

1. Constantly bragging about its "trunk size"