Le Computer

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

"House," in French, is feminine-"la maison."

"Pencil," in French, is masculine - "le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?"

The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun, she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender, and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The Women won!

You Know You've Been On The Computer For Too Long...

• When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
• When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
• When you dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors.
• When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for omitting the "else" clause.
• You try to sleep, and think sleep (8 * 3600); /* sleep for 8 hours /
• When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get to the next page.
• When after fooling around all day with routers etc., you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number and hummmmm to imitate a modem... and you succeed...
• When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want.
• When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
• When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom window.
• When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.
• When you look for a trash can icon for throwing garbage.