The number of divorces in this country proves that this is the land of the free. The number of marriages proves that it is truly the home of the brave.

A bachelor is a man who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

A man was explaining to his marriage counselor how he really loved his wife, Edith, but he just couldn't drop his mistress, Kate. The marriage counselor shook his head and said, "You can't have your Kate and Edith too."

Who Should Brew The Coffee?

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and Then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee".

The husband said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages that it indeed says

"HEBREWS"

50 Years And Breakfast

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."

"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" The two then stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"