Q. What
do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!!!
Q. What is
a Mummy's favorite type of music?
A. Wrap!!!!!
Q. Why do
demons and ghouls hang out together?
A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
Q. What's
a monster's favorite bean?
A. A human bean.
Q. Why can't
the boy ghost have babies?
A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
Q. What do
you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A. A sand-witch.
Q. Where
does a ghost go on Saturday night?
A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
Q. What do
ghosts say when something is really neat?
A. Ghoul
Q. Why did
the ghost go into the bar?
A. For the Boos.
Q. Why did
the game warden arrest the ghost?
A. He didn't have a haunting license.
Q. Why didn't
the skeleton dance at the party?
A. He had no body to dance with.
Q. Where
does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
A. At the casketeria.
Q. What happens
when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A. He is mist.
Q. Where
did the goblin throw the football?
A. Over the ghoul line.
Q. Why is
a ghost such a messy eater?
A. Because he is always a goblin.
Q. What do
you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
A. A toasty ghosty.
Q. What tops
off a ghost's ice cream sundae?
A. Whipped scream.
Q. What do
you give a skeleton for valentine's day?
A. Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
Q. What is
a vampires favorite holiday?
A. Fangsgiving
Q. What kind
of makeup do ghosts wear?
A. mas-scare-a.
20 Ways to Confuse Trick-or-Treaters
- Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
- Wait behind the door. When they get near the door, jump out wearing a costume, holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
- Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
- Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, invite them in. Once they're inside, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
- Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.
- After you give them candy, hand them a bill.
- Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Collapse, flop about gasping for air, then don't move until they go away.
- When you answer the door, hold up one candy bar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"
- When you answer the door, look at them, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and run around the house, screaming until they go away.
- When you open the door, shout, "Drop and give me twenty!" and Insist they each do push-ups before you give them any candy.
- Hand out menus and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.
- Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.
- When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run screaming down the street.
- Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.
- Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that you've been trying to get rid of the eggs since Easter.
- Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily lecture them about tooth decay until they leave.
- Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M's and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Insist that all your candy is gone.
- Open your door wearing only your underwear, scratching your butt, burping and yell, "Waddaya want ya little brats!"
- Put a horn and tails on a pumpkin and put it on a throne on your porch. Insist that they all bow down and worship Beelzebub, Prince of Darkness.
- Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you open the door and angrily throw the candy at them.
