Each time after THE LIGHTS would go out the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the town pastor, the room went dead silent............

He walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should"

"Why not?" the pastor asked.

"Well, there is a statue of a naked woman in there, and her most private part is covered only by a fig leaf."

"Nonsense," said the pastor, "I'll just look the other way."

So the bartender showed the clergyman the door at the top of the stairs, and he proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, he came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again. However, they did stop just long enough to give the pastor a loud round of applause.

He went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for ME just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender.

"Would you like a drink?"

"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled pastor.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "Every time the fig leaf is lifted on the statue, THE LIGHTS go out in the whole place.

Now, how about that drink?"

Baptismal Service
A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher.

The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yess, Preacher..I sure am."

The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.

"Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"

"Noooo, I did not Reverrend."

The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My Good man, have you found Jesus yet?"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher... "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"