The Geography Of A Woman
Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
After 70, they become Afghanistan. Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
The Geography Of A Man
Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a dick.
When
a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part
of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and get all her charts. The
doctor asked her how she was doing, so she gave him the litany of complaints
- this hurts, that's stiff, I'm tired and slower, etc.
He responded with, "Mrs. Siegel, you have to expect things to start deteriorating.
After all, who wants to live to 100?"
The grandmother looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Anyone who's
99."
Two women were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex,"
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
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