Nothing improves with age.

No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because you never know when you will get it again.

Sex has no calories.

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

No sex with anyone in the same office.

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

Virginity can be cured.

When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

It is always the wrong time of month.

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex.

But there is nothing like it.

Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

Do it only with the best.

Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

Never say no.

Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.

Love comes in spurts.

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

Don't do it if you can't keep it up.

Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.