Stock News and a Tip
I don't normally pass on stock tips by E-Mail,
but thought this explosive situation might prove to be another Enron. Please
review any holdings you might have in the following stocks:
American Can
Interstate Water
National Gas Co.
Northern Tissue Co.
Due to uncertain market conditions, we advise you to sit tight on your American Can, hold your Water, and let go of your Gas. You may be interested to know that Northern Tissue touched a new bottom today, and millions were wiped clean
As
you know, the stock market has not been in the greatest shape lately. It seems
that, because of current economic conditions, many companies are contemplating
mergers and acquisitions:
1. XEROX and WURLITZER.
(They're going to make reproductive organs)
2.
FAIRCHILD ELECTRONICS and HONEYWELL COMPUTERS.
(The new company will be called Fairwell Honeychild)
3.
POLYGRAM RECORDS, WARNER BROTHERS and KEEBLER.
(The new company will be called poly warner-cracker)
4.
W.R. GRACE CO., FULLER BRUSH CO., MARY KAY COSMETICS, and HALE BUSINESS SYSTEMS.
(The new company will be called Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace)
5.
3M and GOODYEAR.
(The new company will be called MMM Good)
6.
JOHN DEERE and ABITIBI-PRICE.
(The new company will be called Deere Abi)
7.
HONEYWELL, IMASCO and HOME OIL.
(The new company will be called Honey, IM Home)
8.
DENISON MINES, ALLIANCE and METAL MINING.
(The new company will be called Mine All Mine)
9.
GREY POUPON and DOCKERS PANTS.
(The new company will be called Poupon Pants)
10.
KNOTT'S BERRY FARM and THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR WOMEN.
(The new company will be called Knott NOW)
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