Fairy Godmothers
A couple had been married for 40 years and also
celebrated their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared
and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she
would give them one wish each.
Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for her and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world. The fairy godmother waved her wand and boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn and the fairy godmother assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart's desire. He paused for a moment, then said, "Well, honestly, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy godmother picked up her wand and boom! He was 90!!
(Don't you love fairy godmothers!!!!!)
Grandparents
Signs that your grandparents are still doin’ it:
Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor.
At night, they put their teeth in the same glass.
Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of denture-burn.
Granny frequently found cuffed to her walker.
Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.
Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa’s crotch and claps twice.
You just seen grandmas photos in the 'Beaver Hunt' section of Hustler.
Grandmother bakes Viagra-chip cookies.
Kraft-matic adjustable bed set for 'doggy style.'
Howard
Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Howard
goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments
and long life. One evening, Annabel, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin
to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed quite happily.
After a short lull in their conversation, Howard turns to Annabel and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?" She asks "What?" He replies "SEX!"
Annabel exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"
"I know", Howard says, "but it would be nice if a woman just held it for a while." "Well, I can oblige," says Annabel, who gently unzips his trousers and removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Annabel would hold Howard's manhood.
Then, one night, Howard didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Annabel decided to find Howard and make sure that he was okay.
She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident who was holding Howard's manhood! Furious, Annabel yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does she have that I don't have????"
Howard smiled and replied, "Parkinson's."
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