My
mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about
TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week"
My mother taught me LOGIC
"Because I said so, that's why."
My Mother taught me LOGIC...#2
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about
the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about
CONTORTIONISM
"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about
STAMINA
"You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about
WEATHER
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me how
to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen
THEN?"
My mother taught me about
HYPOCRISY
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me THE
CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about
ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do!"
My Mother taught me about
ANTICIPATION..
"Just wait until we get home."
My Mother taught me about
RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"
My Mother taught me MEDICAL
SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
My Mother taught me to THINK
AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."
My Mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"
My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
My Mother taught me how
to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
My Mother taught me about
GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."
My Mother taught me about
my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"
My Mother taught me about
WISDOM OF AGE..
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."
And
my all time favorite... JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids...and I hope they turn out just like you!
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