You use the force to cheat at fishing, bowling, and long-distance spitting.

More than half the droids you own don't function.

The number of blasters you own exceeds your I. Q.

You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.

You used a carbon-freezing chamber to store the 78 Wampas you shot while vacationing on Hoth.

Your moonshine is made on the moon.

You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.

Sandpeople back down from your mama.

You've used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a DUI.

You've strangled people with the force because they laughed at your accent.

You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.

You've argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.

A Wookie has told you that you need to shave.

You've wrecked several landspeeders while lighting cigarettes with your lightsaber.

You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.

You've gone AT-AT tipping.

Jabba's pig guards think you have a hygiene problem.

You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.

The Rancor monster refused to eat you.

You discovered that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father, who also happens to be your brother.

Shootin the Breeze

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly: "My wife sure is stupid... she bought an air conditioner!"

2nd Hillbilly: "Why is that stupid?"

1st Hillbilly: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"

2nd Hillbilly: "That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin' machines!"

1st Hillbilly: "Why is that so stupid?"

2nd Hillbilly: "Cause we ain't got no plummin'!"

3rd Hillbilly: "That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in there."

1st and 2nd Hillbillies: "Well what's so dumb about that?"

3rd Hillbilly: "She ain't got no pecker!!!"