Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a meal of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: I don't bloody think so.

A lady was crossing a road on day when a frog called out to her and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into your dream guy." She bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in her purse.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a man, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero." The lady took the frog out of her purse, smiled at it, and returned it to her purse.

The frog spoke up again and said, If you kiss me and turn me back into a guy, I will be your loving companion for an entire month." The lady took the frog out of her purse, smiled at it, and returned it to her purse once more.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a man, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the lady took the frog out of her purse, smiled at it, and returned it to her purse.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter" I've told you I'm a man and flexible, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The lady smiled and said, "Look, I have AOL. I don't have time for a man, but a talking frog is cool."

A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No way, pal. I don't think you can pay for it."

"You're right," the guy says. "I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

"You have a deal, my friend," says the bartender.

The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the side of the bar, across the room, up the piano, onto the keyboard and starts playing Gershwin music. The hamster can really play...

"You're right... I've never seen anything like that before," says the bartender. "That hamster is really gifted."

The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Will that be cash or another miracle, pal?" asks the bartender. "Watch this," replies the guy. Again, he reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog onto the bar, and the frog starts to sing. The frog has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer.

A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

"It's a deal," says the guy. He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar.

"Are you some kind of nut?" asks the bartender. "You sold a singing frog for $300? It could have been worth millions. You must be crazy."

"Not so," says the guy. "The hamster is a ventriloquist”!