"Fine"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they
are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that
you should shut up. (NEVER use "Fine" to describe how she looks.
This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)
"Five
minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football
game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that
it's an even trade.
"Nothing"
"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing"
is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn
you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end
with the word "Fine."
"Go
Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission,
the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and
you'll have a "Five-minute" discussion that will end with the
word "Fine."
"Go
Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do
what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow
"Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing"
and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes"
when she cools off.
"Loud
Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very
frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks
you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing
here and arguing with you over "Nothing."
"Soft
Sigh"
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are
one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she
is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the
hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
"Oh"
This word -- followed by any statement -- is trouble. Example; "Oh,
let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were
doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement,
run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine"
when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect
her to talk to you for at least two days.
"That's
Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a
man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard
before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's
Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction
with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan
it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.
"Please
Do"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance
to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance
to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly,
you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
"Thanks"
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning.
Just say "you're welcome."
"Thanks
A Lot"
"Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks."
A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off
at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies
that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what
is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."
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