Ice Cream Parlor
A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Naples, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids

Chocolate Ice Cream
A man approached an ice cream van and said, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."

The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate."

"In that case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream."

"You don't understand, sir," the girl said. "We have no chocolate."

"Then just give me some chocolate," he insisted.

Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, "Sir, will you spell 'van,' as in 'vanilla'?"

The man spelled, "V-A-N."

"Now spell 'straw,' as in 'strawberry.'"

"OK. 'S-T-R-A-W.'"

"Now," the girl asked, "spell 'stink,' as in 'chocolate.'"

The man hesitated and then looked confused as he replied, "There is no stink in chocolate."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she screamed.

Almonds
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of Sun City Christmas Shopper Seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.

After approx 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and hands him another handful of almonds. She repeats this gesture about eight times. At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the almonds themselves.

She replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth; they are not able to chew them.

"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled.

The old lady Answers, "we just love the chocolate around them."