T.G.I.F.
A Blonde goes over to her friend's house Wearing a T.G.I.F. T-shirt.

'Why are you wearing a Thank God
It's Friday tee-shirt on Monday?'

'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't realize it was a religious T-shirt.
I thought it meant Tits Go In Front'

Blonde Selling a Car...
A blonde was having a hard time selling her car because the odometer showed more than 230,000 miles. One day, her dark-haired friend gave her some advice.

"There's a way to make the car easier to sell," said the brunette, "but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the frustrated blonde. "I just want to get rid of the stupid thing!"

"Okay," said the brunette. "Take the car to this address. It's a friend of mine who owns a repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he'll 'fix' it. You shouldn't have a problem selling it after that."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About a month later, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you ever sell your car?"

"Heck no," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

25 Gallons of Milk
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes."

Blondes Do Not Really Have More Fun...
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, chartered a double-decker bus for a weekend gambling trip.

The brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the blonde team rode on the top level.

The brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of the brunettes realized she had not heard anything from the blondes upstairs.

She decided to go up and investigate. When the brunette reached the top, she found all the blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

The brunette asked, "What the heck is going on up here? We are having a great time downstairs!"

One of the blondes looked at her, swallowed hard, and whispered, "YEAH, BUT YOU HAVE A DRIVER!"

Two Blonde Cowpokes!
Back in the old Wild West, there were two blonde cowpokes, Jeff and Dave.

One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm.

The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week they burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children."

He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars."

The two blondes looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head. The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine.

The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.

Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this."

Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy."

Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this."

Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand dollars in my hand."

But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this."

So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians.

Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh... my... Gosh... we're going to be millionaires!"