Hell Just Got Nicer
An engineer dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gate and says, "What! An Engineer! You're in the wrong place! Beat it!"

So, he goes down to Hell, and gets settled in. But he soon becomes dissatisfied with conditions there, and begins to make improvements. Before long, there's running water, flush toilets, escalators, even air conditioning, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer,
"So, how's it going down there?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What! You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there. Send him up right away!

Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue your shiny red pants off!"

"Oh, yeah?" the Devil replies. "Where are you going to get a lawyer?!?"

Dear Pastor,
I know God loves everybody but He never met
my sister.
Yours sincerely,
Arnold
Age 8, Nashville


Dear Pastor,
Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson.
Sincerely,
Pete
Age 9, Phoenix

Dear Pastor,
My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something.
Robert
Age 11, Anderson


Dear Pastor,
I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance?
Love,
Patty
Age 10, New Haven

Dear Pastor,
My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold.
Yours truly,
Annette
Age 9, Albany


Dear Pastor,
I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there.
Stephen
Age 8, Chicago

Dear Pastor,
I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland.
Loreen
Age 9, Tacoma


Dear Pastor,
I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance.
Sincerely,
Eleanor
Age 12, Sarasota

Dear Pastor,
Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow.
Laurie
Age 10, New York City


Dear Pastor,
I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner.
Love,
Ellen
Age 9, Athens

Dear Pastor,
Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher.
Thank you.
Alexander
Age 10, Raleigh


Dear Pastor,
My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house.
Joshua
Age 10, South Pasadena

Dear Pastor,
Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class.
Carla
Age 10, Salina


Dear Pastor,
I like your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished.
Ralph
Age 11, Akron

Dear Pastor,
How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers?
Sincerely,
Marie
Age 9, Lewiston