More Words
A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men.

It read, "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000."

Excited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her the study results.

The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband, "It's because we have to repeat everything we say."

The husband said, "What?"

The Rescue
A man in Paris saw a pit bull attacking a toddler. He killed the pit bull and saved the child's life. Reporters swarmed the fellow to cover the story.

"Tell us! What's your name? All Paris will love you! Tomorrow's headlines will be: "Paris Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!"'

The man said, "But I'm not from Paris."

Reporters said "That's OK. Then the whole of France will love you, and tomorrow's headline will read: "French Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog! "'

The man said. "I'm not from France, either."

Reporters: "That's OK also. All Europe will love you. Tomorrow's headlines will shout: "Europe's Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!"'

The man said, "I'm not from Europe, either."

Reporters: "So, where are you from?"

The man said, "I'm from Israel."

Reporters: "OK. Then tomorrow's headlines will proclaim to the world: "Vicious Jew Kills Family Pet!"'

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

Dallas Cowboy Hero
Two boys were playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was walking by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy!

"Forty Niners' fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Niners fan," the boy replied.

"Oakland Raiders' fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again.

"I'm not a Raiders fan either," the boy said.

"Then what are you?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Cowboys fan."

The reporter turns to a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard kills family pet."