Is the Honey Mustard Sauce Sweet?

Menus:

  • "Ham and Cheese - $2.50. Cheese and Ham - $2.90." -- On a menu.
  • Our whipped butter is made with margarine." -- On a menu.
  • "7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings." -- On a menu.

Signs:

  • "Open seven days a week. Closed Sundays." -- On the bottom of a pizza parlor's take-out menu.
  • "Parking for drive-through customers only." -- A sign at a McDonald's in California.
  • "We are Handicapped - Friendly. For example, if you are blind, we will read the menu for you." -- A notice in a restaurant.
  • "Eat Here - Get Gas" -- A sign at a gas station.
  • "Hot drinks to take out or sit in." -- A sign on a cafe.
  • "You can't beat our meat!" -- A sign on a restaurant, now closed.
  • "Our Infamous Steaks" -- A sign at a restaurant in Raleigh, NC.
  • "Now Hiring / Sausage Biscuits / $1" -- A sign at a McDonald's.
  • "NOW HIRING / TWO FRENCH DIPS / FOR TWO DOLLARS." -- A sign at an Arby's in North Bend, Washington.
  • "Please consume all food on premises." -- A sign at a Souplantation restaurant.

Quotes:

  • "Is there chicken in your vegetarian gumbo?" -- Asked of a waitress.
  • "Just the chicken." -- The response a waitress gave when asked if there were any dairy products in a soup.
  • "Would you like cream and sugar with that?" -- Asked by a waitress when a customer specified orange juice instead of coffee as part of a breakfast meal.
  • "Do you want cheese on that?" -- Asked when a customer ordered a plain cheeseburger.
  • "You want fries with that?" -- Asked when a customer ordered an apple turnover.
  • "Do you want onions on that?" -- A waitress, in response to a couple ordering a milk shake and a large cola.
  • "Is there any meat in the veggie rolls?"
  • "Do you get rice with your fried rice?"
  • "I'm sorry, we only have six inch and foot long subs." -- A waitress, when asked for a 12 inch sub.
  • "Would you like to care for a cup of coffee?" -- A waitress.
  • "Which of these coffees did you want with cream and sugar?" -- Asked of a customer who had ordered two coffees, one with cream and sugar and one without.
  • "Do you want that in a bag?" -- Asked of a customer who ordered coffee to go.
  • "Is this for here or to go?" -- Asked of a Dairy Queen customer at a drive-through window.
  • "What's the difference between the 1/4 pounder and the 1/3 pounder?"
  • "What's the difference?" -- Asked of a waitress when asked if the customer would like breadsticks with or without cheese.
  • "Sir, we only have one thousand island dressing." -- A waitress, when asked for two thousand island dressings.
  • "How many pieces are in the eight piece chicken deal?"
  • "How much is the $1.99 popcorn chicken?"
  • "Is the honey mustard sauce sweet?"
  • "Is the spicy chicken just spicy or is it hot and spicy?"
  • "Would you like the sale price?" -- A fast food worker, asking how a customer would like to pay for his order of two special sandwiches.
  • "That's not an animal. It's a mammal." -- Cafeteria worker serving shrimp at a public high school.
  • "Does your ice cream contain dairy products?" -- A customer at the drive-through of a fast food restaurant.
  • "Excuse me. These ham and cheese rolls -- do they have ham in them?" -- A customer at a bakery cafe.
  • "Don't you guys have them 99 cent Whoppers?" -- Asked of a Taco Bell cashier.
  • "This is to go." -- Commonly said by customers at drive-through windows.
  • "I'd like a large Pepsi pizza." -- A customer ordering pizza over the phone. After saying this, the customer was heard saying to someone else with him, "Wait, Chuck, is that right?"

"Do you have hot tea?"
"Well, it is not very warm...but...."
"No I mean do you have hot water and a tea bag?"
"Yes."
"So you can make me hot tea."
"Well I can put a cup of iced tea in the microwave for you."
"No, just give me a cup of hot water and a tea bag, and I will make my own."
"Do you want ice in the cup?"

Once when I went to McDonald's, I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right."
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

A pizza-and-sub takeout recently opened near me. When I got the menu, I decided that I would try the hamburger sub that was listed, so I called.
•"I'd like to place an order for pickup."
• Him: "Certainly, sir. What would you like to have?"
•"I'd like the hamburger sub, please."
• Him: "Excuse me, the HAMburger sub?"
•"Yes."
• Him: "I'm sorry, but we don't have HAMburger."
•"It's right here on the menu."
• Him: "We don't have HAMburger."

This went on a few times, until finally I asked for a cheeseburger sub without the cheese. He was happy to sell me that.

  • "I'd like a large french fries please."
  • Clerk: "Would you like fries with that?"
  • I got sort of confused at this one and told him no. He told me to pull ahead, so I did, and then he asked me why I was sitting there.
  • Clerk: "I thought you didn't want fries."
  • "No, I ordered a large french fries."
  • Clerk: "Ok. Do you want fries with that?"

Since saying no the last time had gotten me nothing, I figured I'd better say yes this time.

He gave me two large fries.

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