Mensa Convention
Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe. While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt.

How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa! The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..."

"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

Creation
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."

The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

Signs You're Not Mensa Material
You couldn't figure out how to break the seal on your standardized intelligence test, so you had to give up.

You wonder how the deer know to cross at the deer crossing signs.

You are confused by the plot twists of a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

You once tried to solve a Rubik's cube and had to be institutionalized for over a year.

You had trouble getting in even before they saw the decimal point in your IQ.

You are still struggling to finish "Shoe Laces for Dummies."

Your family had a celebration when you scored a "perfect 10" points on your SAT.

You don't watch PBS because there are no Budweiser or Taco Bell commercials.

Homer Simpson is your idol.

That "which comes first" thing about chicken and eggs just makes you hungry.

Olympic Try Outs
Three guys are trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Atlanta to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let’s watch the registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."

Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput." He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant.

The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here are you packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information."

HOT DOG! The first guy grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin."

The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here are you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"

The second guy! grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up the registration table and states: "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus."

The attendant says, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here are you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself."

They scamper in, but suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They groan - OH NO. He's a simpleton from the hills of Vermont. They forgot to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid and blow their cover stories.

They spot him walking with a roll of barb wire under his arm. He walks up the registration table and states: "Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing."