Indications
That Your New Baby Is a Pirate
When mom’s water broke, the baby yelled, “I sail with the
tide!”
When the doctor slapped your baby’s bottom, the baby slapped the
doctor back and then grabbed the doctor’s head with the forceps.
In the hospital nursery, your baby stole blankets and pacifiers from the
other infants and then denied it.
Other babies’ ankle bands say “Baby Girl” or “Baby
Boy.” Your child’s says “Baby Pirate.”
When the hospital photographer took a picture of your baby, your baby
asked if it was for the “wanted posters.”
You found your baby in the hospital cafeteria telling stories about his
most recent voyage.
Your physician asked, “Do hooks run in the family?”
Your baby doesn’t have any teeth -- just like most adult pirates.
During labor, your spouse shouted things you thought only came out of
the mouths of pirates.
By the time your baby left the hospital, the doctors and nurses were calling
him “Captain.”
Things
Overheard At The Dinner Table That Show You're Child Is A Pirate
“You can flog me, but I’m not eating creamed spinach.”
“I’ve buried me treasure in the mashed potatoes.”
“I’ll need another ration of grog if you expect me to eat
these peas.”
“Your tuna noodle casserole would be perfect to fill cracks in the
deck.”
“This chicken tastes like the parrot I was forced to eat after being
marooned on an island for 30 days.”
“I wouldn’t serve brussel sprouts to even the prisoners in
the brig.”
“If I eat all my food, can I plunder the neighbors before I go to
bed?”
“This burger is fatty enough to grease a mast.”
“Too many vegetables -- too little shark.”
“What did they do with the last cook’s body after he was hung
from the yardarm?”
Bumper
Stickers For A Pirate's Minivan
Rum: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Is my sailing bad? Call 1-800-PREPARE-TO-BE-BOARDED.
Caution: I brake for buried treasure.
Don't blame me, I'm from the Dry Tortugas.
God must love stupid landlubbers, he made so many of them.
I do whatever my parrot tells me.
Become a pirate, meet interesting people, and plunder ’em.
My pirate kidnapped your honor student.
My dog’s scurvy but I still love him.
I killed a bottle of rum just to watch it die.
These jokes are from one of our to his website go to www.PirateParenting.com
