Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"

Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?”

Don't Disgrace your Family
There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys.”He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.

The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

She said, "Grandmother! I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."

Ma and Pa
Ma and Pa, two mountain folk living up in the hills of West Virginia out on a farm, found out that the hole under the outhouse was full.

Pa tells Ma he doesn't know what to do about the problem or how to empty the hole.

Ma suggests, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's goin' to college."

So Pa visits the neighbor's house and asks, "My outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."

The youngster tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. - The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse up into the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground for ya. The outhouse should then come back down to land on the same spot atop the now-empty hole.”

Pa thanks the boy, drives to the hardware store, and buys some dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Returns home and puts them under the outhouse.

He lights them and runs behind the closest big tree, when all of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and runs into the outhouse!

Before Pa can react, off goes the first stick of dynamite ... shooting the outhouse high in up in the air.

BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite ... spreading poop all over the farm.

WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.....

Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and hollers, "Ma, are you all right??!!"

As she pulls up her skirts Ma says... "Yep. I guess so, but I sure am glad I didn't fart in the kitchen!!