Labrador
Pup
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center
and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup
had fresh air.
She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange look and said,
"Why don't you just put it in park?"
Who
Killed Abraham Lincoln?
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer
wants to ask her a few questions....
Officer: What's 2+2?
Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!
Officer: What's the square root of 100?
Blonde: Ummmm... 10!
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.
The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"
In
a Vacuum
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled
the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If
you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Still
Blonde
Back a few years ago, I went over to my neighbors house.(She was a blonde),
and for some reason she was mad at the world. She had locked herself in
the bathroom and was threatening suicide.
I said, "Come on, you know you don't want to do this!"
She said, "I damn well do wanna do this, nobody wants me alive anyways."
For some reason I actually believed her and pushed through the door, and saw she had a rope tied to around her ankles.
I asked "Are you really trying to hang yourself?"
"Yeah, so what?"
"Well, usually when people hang themselves they tie the rope around their necks"
"Yeah, well, I tried that, but then I couldn't breathe."
