Drawbacks Of Working In A Cubicle

• Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who's behind you.
• Fabric walls offer little protection from gunfire.
• The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right.
• Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.
• When you quit and walk out, there's no door to slam.
• Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a freakin' box all day long.
• 23 power cords - 1 outlet.
• The carpet has been there since 1976 (or older) and shows more signs of life than your coworkers.
• If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you."
• You always have the feeling that someone is watching you, but by the time you turn to look they're gone.

Things You'd Love To Say At Work, But Can't

• And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be . . ?
• Do I look like a people person?
• This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
• I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
• Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
• If I throw a stick, will you leave?
• You! Off my planet!
• Does your train of thought have a caboose?
• Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
• A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
• A PBS mind in an MTV world.
• Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
• Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
• Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
• See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
• Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
• Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
• I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
• Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
• Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
• Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
• Allow me to introduce my selves.
• Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
• How do I set a laser printer to stun?
• I thought I wanted a career. It turns out that I just wanted paychecks.