Things Men Shouldn't Say Out Loud At Victoria's Secret

• Does this come in children's sizes?
• No thanks, just sniffing
• I'll be in the dressing room going blind
• Mom will love this
• Oh size won't matter, she's inflatable.
• No need to wrap it, I'll eat it here
• Will you model this for me?
• The Miracle what?!? This is better than world peace!!
• $45 bucks?! You're just gonna end up naked anyway!!!!

And the number one thing that a man should NEVER, EVER say out loud in Victoria's Secret is:

Oh honey, you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that!!!!!!

Porno Shop Purchase….

Guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.

Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"
Customer says, "Female."

Counter guy asks, "Black or white?
Customer says, "White."

Counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"
Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"

Counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up."

A Nine
I was meeting a friend in a bar, and as I went in I noticed two pretty girls looking at me.

"Nine," I heard one whisper as I passed.

Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten.

"I don't want to ruin it for you," he said, "but when I walked in, they were speaking German."

Sandals
A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You, Foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."

So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel."

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex hero he was.

The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?

The Pakistani man replied, "Why don't you try then on and see for yourself?

Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years - raw sexual power.

In a blink of an eye, the husband rushed the Pakistani man, threw him on a table and started tearing at the guy's pants.

All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, 'YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET! YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!"