Scientific Adages
1. All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

2. Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.

3. A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.

4. Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.

5. It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lacteal fluid.

6. It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a super- annuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

7. Surveillance should precede saltation.

8. Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting petrious projectiles.

9. Where there are visible vapors having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

Adages Translated to English
1. All that Glitters is not Gold.

2. Beggars cannot be choosers.

3. A Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.

4. Birds of a feather flock together.

5. Don't cry over Spilt Milk.

6. You cant teach an Old Dog new Tricks.

7. Look before you leap.

8. Those who live Glass Houses should cast no stones.

9. Where there is smoke, there will be fire.

Practical Adages
People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.

Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it.

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.

Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.