You Might Be a Redneck If...
* Your standard of living improves when you go camping.

* Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens.

* You have jacked up your home to look for a dog.

* Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.

* There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.

* You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode.

* None of the tires on your van are the same size.

* You hold the hood of the car with your head while you work on it.

* Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade.

* Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.

* Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet.

* You've ever slow danced in the Waffle House.

* Starting your car involves popping the hood.

* Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays.

* You whistle at women in church.

* You actually wear shoes your dog brought home.

* You've been in a fist fight at a yard sale.

* You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach the kids in the back seat.

Hang Gliding
Here in Kentucky, you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Bubba decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge into the wind he goes!

Meanwhile, Maw and Paw Hicks were sittin' on the porch swing talkin bout the good ol days when maw spots the biggest bird she ever seen!

"Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaims.

Paw raises up," Git my gun, Maw."

She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun. He takes careful aim. BANG...BANG.....BANG.....BANG! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops.

"I think ya missed him, Paw," she says.

"Yeah," he replies, "but at least he let go of Bubba!"