What is a Redneck?
To a person in the US, it is anybody from the South.

To somebody in the South, it is anybody in Mississippi.

To a person in Mississippi it is somebody who lives in a mobile home.

To somebody in MS living in a mobile home, it is a guy who drives a pickup.

To a MS guy in a trailer house who drives a pickup, it is a guy who drives a pickup with a Dale Earnhart decal on it.

To a MS guy in a trailer house with a decal of Dale Earnhart on his pickup, a redneck is somebody who drives around with his dog in the back of the truck.

And to a MS guy driving around in his Dale Earnhart pickup with his dog in the back, a redneck is a guy who puts Coca Cola in his morning coffee.

You Know You're a Redneck When
• You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
• You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
• Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
• Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
• You burn your yard rather than mow it.
• You offer someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
• Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
• You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
• You come back from the dump with more than you took.
• You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
• Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas wish list.
• You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
• You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
• Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
• You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
• You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
• You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
• You have a rag for a gas cap.
• Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
• You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
• You can spit without opening your mouth.
• Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
• You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.
• You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
• You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
• You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
• You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
• You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
• You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
• Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.