Q: What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman?
A: You can drop her off anywhere.

Q: What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.

Q: What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with?
A: Whatever she wants. He's sleeping.

Q: How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony?
A: It isn't hard.

Q: How can you piss off your wife while your making love?
A: Call her from your cell phone.

Q: Why are gypsies so careful when they're making love?
A: They have crystal balls.

Q: Why did God give women nipples?
A: To make suckers out of men.

Q: What does the bride of a Polish man get that's long and hard on her wedding night?
A: His last name.

Q: What's the down side to a threesome?
A: You could disappoint two women instead of just one.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: The terrorist has sympathizers.

Q: How do you know you're really ugly?
A: Dogs close their eyes when they're humping your leg.

Q: Why are hurricanes named after women?
A: Because they arrive wet and wild, then leave with your house and car!

Q. What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man?
A. You can enjoy all but the head.

Q. What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?
A. They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.

Q. What is the similarity between a microwave oven and a man?
A. They both get hot in 15 seconds.

Q. Why can't a man be both good looking and intelligent?
A. That would make him a woman.

Q. Why is a man's brain the size of a peanut?
A. Because it is swollen.

Q. Why are batteries better than men?
A. Batteries have at least one positive end.

Q. Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because sperm are male and they refuse to ask directions.

Q. Why are men like the letter Q?
A. Because it is a big fat zero with a small protrusion.

Q. Why do fewer women get married these days?
A. Because they would rather have bacon in the fridge, than a pig in the living room.

Q. What is the similarity between a video recorder and a man?
A. They go forwards, backwards, forwards, and backwards, stop and eject!

Q. Why is the male intelligence worth more than the female?
A. It is rarer.

Q. Why do men prefer to marry virgins?
A. They cannot handle the criticism.

Q. What do you call an attractive, intelligent and sensitive man.
A. Rumor.

Q. Why don't men go through menopause?
A. They never left puberty.

Biker Chic
A little old lady had always wanted to join a local biker club. One day she goes up and knocks on the door. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She proclaims, "I want to join your club."

The guy was amused, but says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join. The biker asks, "Do you have a motorcycle?

" The little old lady replies, "Yep... my bike's parked over there", and points to a Harley in the driveway.

The biker asks, "Do you drink?

" The little old lady replies, "Yep... drink like a fish. I'll drink any man in your club under the table."

The biker asks, "Do you smoke?

" The little old lady replies, "Yep... smoke like a chimney. At least a pack of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars in the evening, while I'm shooting pool."

The biker is very impressed and asks, "Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?

" The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope ... but I've been swung around by the nipples a few times."