Reasons Why You Should Ask Your Boss For A Raise
• You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in hysterical laughter.
• The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance.
• Your only charge cards are for the Salvation Army, ARC, and DAV thrift stores.
• You work full time and you still qualify for food stamps.
• You empty out your piggy bank and then cook the bank and serve it for your Easter ham.
• All you can think about morning, noon and night is clipping grocery coupons.
• You file your income taxes and the IRS returns them stamped, "Charity Case -- Return To Sender."
• You set the world record for mailing $1.00 rebate requests to Young America, Minnesota.
• You pay all your bills, put your remaining $1 bill into your billfold and it goes into shock.
• You get arrested for taking the coins out of the fountain in the mall.

The Top 14 Ways Hell is Better Than Your Job
Your coffee stays hot all day!

Never have to look very far to find the legal department.

In hell, you *know* who drank your Coke in the fridge - Satan!

30% fewer "Dilbert" cartoons in the break room.

In hell, that devil-may-care attitude of yours comes in handy.

You get to spend more time with your spouse now.

No more wondering if the boss hates you.

Riding to work in a handbasket beats the hell out of public transportation.

Hourly dunks in searing pools of molten lava actually quite invigorating.

Surfing porno sites all day scores *major* points with the boss!

Your office: One free stale donut every Friday.
Hell: One brutal mutilation of a "Full House" cast member every Friday.

Your job? Suit and tie.
Hell? Pitchforks and attitude, Baby!

Ferocious reptilian demons can appreciate a good dirty joke now and then without threatening a sexual harassment complaint.

Microwave popcorn -- without leaving your cubicle!

Tech Talk
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.

The Human Resources Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it You cannot qualify for this job."

Mujibar said, "I am ready."

The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready."

The manager said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems.

No doubt you have spoken to him!