One woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Well, yes, but I married the wrong man."

Getting married is very much like going out to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in most countries, son.

A man once said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

A man took out a classified ad saying "Wife wanted".
The next day he received a hundred responses saying "You can have mine."

Some men define marriage as a very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

And some learn that the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you know that either the wife is new - or the car is.

Husband: "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
Wife: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't care!"

Definitions Of A Bachelor
One who avoids Bride-Eyed women.

One who believes in Life, Liberty and the Happiness of Pursuit.

One who believes in Wine, Women and So-Long.

One who can get into bed from either side.

One who can go fishing anytime, until he gets hooked.

One who can have a girl on his knee without having her on his hands.

One who can't be Spouse-Broken.

One who cheated some woman out of a divorce.

One who is not missing anything in life except a few buttons on his shirt.

One who knows how to hold a woman's hand so that she doesn't get a grip on him.

One who leans toward a woman but not far enough to fall.

One who likes his Girl Friend just the way she is...Single!

One who never makes the same mistake once.

One who never met a girl he couldn't live without.

One who when a girl asks him for a Diamond Ring, he turns Stone-Deaf.

One who when he opens the window in his apartment, more dust blows out than in.

One who would rather mend his socks than his ways.