Signs You're Not a Morning Person
You put your cordless shaver in the toaster.

Your vocabulary in the morning consists of, "Uh?" and "Uh huh".

You thought vitamin C meant COFFEE!

Even your self-absorbed cat will wait till at least noon to remind you he hasn't been fed in over 48 hrs.

Your will specifically states that you be buried "any time after 1 p.m."

You go to sleep in your work clothes so you don't have to waste "valuable sleep-in time" getting dressed.

Vivarin -- Breakfast of Champions is your choice every morning.

You yawn and suck in a Delta 747.

You think Letterman is the host of Good Morning America.

When you sleep late, coffee prices plummet on major world commodity markets.

Morning Greetings
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar.

"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?!"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast!"

My Lucky Day
She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast.

He walks in.

She says, "You've got to make love to me -- this very moment."

He thinks, "This is my lucky day", and gives it his all on the kitchen table.

He says afterwards, "What was that all about?"

She says, "The egg timer's broken."