Searching through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket, a friend couldn't find one large enough. Pointing to the turkeys, she asked an employee, "Do they get any bigger?"

"No, lady," he replied. "They're dead."

How To Cook A Turkey" aka "Thanksgiving Turkey for Dummies"
Step 1 : Go buy a turkey
Step 2 : Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3 : Put turkey in the oven
Step 4 : Take another two drinks of whiskey
Step 5 : Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6 : Take three more whiskeys of drink
Step 7 : Turn oven the on
Step 8 : Take four whisks of drinkey
Step 9 : Turk the bastey
Step 10 : Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11 : Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12 : Glass yourself another pour of whiskey
Step 13 : Bake the whiskey for four hours
Step 14 : Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15 : Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16 : Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17 : Turk the carvey
Step 18 : Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19 : Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20 : Bless the saying, pass and eat out

Dinner at Grandma’s House
Little Jokester and his family were having Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated round the table as the food was being served. When little Jokester received his plate, he started eating right away.

"Logan, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him.

"I don't need to," the little boy replied.

"Of course you do!" his mother insisted, "We say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house," Jokester explained, "but this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!"