The Psychic
A woman visited a psychic of some local repute.

In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news; "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt, prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked:

"Will I get away with it?

Can I be Blunt?
If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you are aiming too high.

Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him.

Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.

A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

If you want a nice man go for a bald one -- they try harder.

Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.

A man who can dress himself without looking like Forest Gump is unquestionably gay.

Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.

Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he does.

Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a woman.

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -- strong, caring, and loving -- they'd be wrong but you can still use them.

Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but they make great pets.

Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.

There are only two four-letter words that are offensive to men -"don't" and "stop" (unless they're used together).

Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.

If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day and he will be back to his usual self.

All men are like chickens with their heads cut off when they see beautiful women pass by.

If your man appears happy, excited and keeps looking at you all of a sudden he is probably checking out the women behind you.

Figuring out men is like trying to make a jigsaw puzzle in a car, once you think you have it all put together, you find another piece but you don't know where it goes.