Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE): I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, and rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR : While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets rather ugly so I'll stop right here.

WIFE V/S HUSBAND: A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

VERBOSITY: A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

It All Makes Sense Now!
Ever notice how all of a women's problems start with men?
It all makes sense now; I never looked at it this way before:
MEN tal illness
MEN strual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opause
GUY necologist
and when she has real trouble, it's a HIS terectomy
Send this to women you know and brighten their day. Send this to men to annoy them.

Bumper Stickers for Women
* Not Drunk. Just Blonde.

* I haven't found Mr Right, but I have found Mr. Cheap, Mr. Sleazy and Mr. Wrong

* It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.

* Don't stare at me, buy me a drink.

* Veni, Vedi, VISA: I Came, I Saw, I did a little shopping.

* Next mood swing: 6 minutes

* So many men... so few who can afford me.

* Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

* Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time.

* If we are what we eat... I'm fast cheap and easy.

* I'm sorry honey, I just don't have the energy to fake it tonight.

* I'm really easy to get along with, once you learn to worship me.