Poor Nun
One night, after a long evening of drinking, Jim was thrown out of the bar as usual. On his way home, he spotted a nun walking down the road. After looking at her for a moment, he ran over, tackled her and proceeded to beat her up. Some people passing by spotted this and called the police.

As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs he looked back and said, "Hell, I thought you'd be tougher than that, Batman."

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would make love to him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the at the next stop.

When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to make love to you." The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and prays to God. "If you went dressed in a robe and a glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are God and you could command her to make love to you."

The hippie decides this is a great idea, so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun shows up and begins praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD! I have heard your prayers and I will answer them, BUT ... first you must make love to me." The nun agrees but and asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun.

After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the hippie!"

Then the nun jumps up and shouts, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the bus driver!

Little Mary was not the best student in Religion Class. Usually she slept through the whole period.

One day Sister called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created The universe?"

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the butt. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and Sister said, "Very good." Mary went back to sleep.

A while later Sister asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" but Mary didn't Even stir. Once again, little Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and Sister said, "Very good," and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then Sister asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had their twenty-third child?"

And again, little Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it off!"

The Sister fainted.