A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him."

"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."

"No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about the price."

"Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."

"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket."

"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"

"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the back and it said, 'PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,' so I flew to Alaska."

A Swiss man needed directions, so he pulled up to a bus stop where two Americans were waiting.

"Entschuldigung, koennen sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asked.

The two Americans just stared at him.

"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tried. The two continued to stare.

"Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?"

Nothing.

The man drove off in disgust. One American turned to the other and said, "You know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."

"Why?" said the other. "That guy knew four and it didn't help him at all!"

Jose was 35 and desperate to meet an attractive Latina he could date and maybe marry. After trying unsuccessfully to meet a nice attractive woman at a bar or club his friend suggested the Internet. He had luck meeting women that way and his only warning was "Be direct and state exactly what you are looking for no more, no less".

Taking his friends advice he decided to place an ad on a dating service stating exactly what he wanted: "Latino seeking sensual Latina."

He got a response from girl #2259 with her address and directions to pick her up on Friday night at 8:00 pm for a date.

When he arrives at her door, he finds that she is indeed sensual. But he notices she is black. Figuring she must be Dominicana or Cubana, he starts to speak Spanish to her.

"Como esta usted senorita?"

With attitude the girl replied..."OH HELLLLLLLL NO, you must be trippin!!!!"

Confused and startled, Jose asks the woman "Don't you speak Spanish ???"

The woman shocked replied "Why the HELLLLL would I speak Spanish???"

Embarrassed, Jose carefully explains that while she is very attractive there must be a mistake because his ad clearly stated "Seeking Sensual Latina"

Enraged, the woman tells Jose "Fool you better RECOGNIZE !!!! You GOT what you WANTED!!!! My momma is LaShonda, My sister is LaQuisha. My brother is LaTrell and I am LaTINA !!!!