~Your cat sits in front of you and looks lovingly in your eyes. Is it saying?
a) I adore you
b) I can outstare you
c) If you ever get your lazy butt out of that chair, maybe I can get fed.

~Your cat bumps his head against yours. Is it saying?
a) You are my bestest friend
b) Will you play with me?
c) If I bump this hard enough, maybe it'll break open and tuna will fall out.

~Your cat brings you a mouse with it's head missing. Is it saying?
a) Here is a present for you
b) I am a mighty hunter, stroke me
c) this would look better surrounded by tuna

~Your cat licks his paws. Is it?
a) Instinctively grooming itself
b) Bored
c) Getting ready to cat-slap you if you don't give him some food soon.

~Your cat sticks his paw under the bottom of the door and frantically waves. Is it saying?
a) Imaginary mice are fun!
b) Please open this door
c) If I can build up these biceps, I can open my own cat food cans.

~Your cat rubs against your leg. He is?
a) Showing you affection
b) Trying to get your attention
c) Trying to push you into the kitchen where the food is kept.

Your cat runs ahead of you and then rolls on his back. Is it saying?
a) Rub my tummy
b) Catch me if you can
c) I am so exhausted from hunger, I can only run 2 feet at a time.

~Your cat backs up to your best piece of furniture and sprays. Is it saying?
a) This is mine! I must mark it!
b) I had a little extra pee I didn't know what to do with.
c) Follow this smell to the kitchen cupboard where the food is kept.

~Your cat rubs his whiskers against your hand. He is?
a) Showing you he loves you
b) Petting himself
c) Trying to push your hand into the can opener

~Your cat chases a moth in the air. He is?
a) Instinctively honing his hunting skills
b) Exercising
c) Showing you he is insane with hunger and will eat ANYthing.

~Your cat swishes the water in the toilet. Is it trying to?
a) Just have a little fun
b) Catch a quick drink
c) Show you that he can always snag a tuna swimming upstream if you don't feed him soon.

~Your cat sleeps by your side, purring contentedly. Is it saying?
a) I love and adore you
b) I just want to stay close to you
c) I'll be the first one to know when you're awake so you can feed me.

~Your cat sits in the window and stares at the birds. Is it?
a) Thinking about how beautiful birds are
b) Wishing it could catch one
c) Mentally telling you that bird-in-a-can would go great with Pounce Treats.

~Your cat sleeps in a discarded cardboard box. Is it?
a) Laying where it feels safe
b) Feeling all cozy
c) Showing you what size coffin to buy if you don't feed it soon.

~Your cat munches on your houseplant. Is it saying?
a) mmmmm..good
b) I love to puke up this stuff
c) I'll eat every darn thing in this house that doesn't move if you don't open a can of tuna soon. Feed me!

~Now your cat meows at the door when you go out. Is it saying?
a) Please don't leave me here all alone.
b) Adios.
c) Hey you! Slave! Pick me up a can of tuna while you're out.

~Your cat digs its claws in your leg. Is this?
a) Primal hunting instinct.
b) A "love tap".
c) Testing to see if you are tender & "done".

~Your cat scratches at the door after being fed? Is it saying?
a) Let me out, I need to use the sandbox.
b) I want to go out and roam.
c) I Wonder what's to eat next door?

~Your cat rolls on his back in front of you. Is it saying?
a) Please rub my tummy
b) Aren't I cute?
c) I am having seizures from lack of tuna. Feed me!

~Your cat is sound asleep in the window. It is thinking?
a) Nothing, he's sleeping
b) Ah, this sun feels good
c) Can't you tell I've fainted from hunger??! Feed me!

Scores?
Mostly a? You are your cat's slave

Mostly b? You are onto your cat's ways

Mostly c? Give your cat the car keys and let him go buy his own darn tuna!