Top Ten Differences between Movie College and Real College

10. In movie college there is sex, even for the geeky-loser.
In real college that geeky-loser will never have sex.

9. In Movie College, your rival fraternity is made of a bunch of rich snobs. In real college, your rival fraternity (if there is one) is like yours, a bunch of partying drunks.

8. In Movie College, a full load entails a massive 2 classes a week.

7. When you skip all classes all semester, and then decide the last week of school that you DO really want to graduate, the whole student body does NOT pitch in to help you study for those finals.

6. Nerds taking revenge involves less winning homecoming competitions and more ruining credit ratings.

5. In the movies the dean is a bad man who wants to ruin your life. In real life you don't have a clue who the dean is.

4. In Movie College, beating the sniveling rich-boy leader of the powerful frat house in a wacky race is a completely acceptable alternative for acquiring your degree (and a beautiful girl).

3. Dorm size, by about 3 acres.

2. College students in movies do lots of binge drinking, random making out, video-game playing, and very little studying. In real life, there's a lot more going to the bathroom.

1. Movie College: Hot teachers. Real College: Sweaty Teachers.

The Top 10 Differences Between Geeks and Nerds
10) GEEKS snicker and blush at dirty jokes; NERDS laugh uncontrollably for hours.

9) GEEKS will fit only in full size gym lockers; NERDS fit in all gym lockers.

8) GEEKS wear bowling shoes as their regular shoes; NERDS wear bowling shoes with plaid shorts.

7) GEEKS occasionally get lucky and get to pass their phone number to someone at a bar; NERDS will only pass their URL at a bar.

6) GEEKS get a perfect score on the SAT; NERDS write the damn SAT.

5) GEEKS see "Urkel" as their hero; NERDS watch all of the "Revenge of the Nerds" movies (Yes, even Revenge #5) for their inspiration.

4) GEEKS socialize with DWEEBS; NERDS socialize with DORKS

3) GEEKS will snort when they laugh; NERDS will snort but add a very high pitched nasal wheeze (see Horshack on the Welcome Back Kotter series on Nickelodeon) to their performance.

2) GEEKS set their phasers on stun; NERDS set theirs on Kill cause you never know when those nasty Klingons may appear.

1) Isn't it obvious...GEEKS read Top 10 lists; NERDS write Top 10 Lists.