Signs That You're Not Romantic
You ask the waiter for a seat near the kitchen so it minimizes the time it takes for your food to arrive.

She doesn't like the "I'm The Property of Jason" t-shirt you got her for your anniversary.

You take your date out for dinner that consists of a coupon for free nachos and half price on drinks.

Her candlelight dinners really irritate you 'cause it's so hard to read the sportspage while eating.

You apologize with a dozen dandelions.

After a romantic dinner, you offer to do the dishes by letting the dog lick the plates.

You consider pig latin the "language of love".

Some say it with flowers, you say it with sparkplugs.

When your boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed, you said, "Shhh!...talk to me during the commercial."

"I thought cubic zerconia looked prettier than real diamonds."

"Fantasy vs. Reality"
FANTASY: He'll lavish you with gifts for no particular reason.
REALITY: You've got him confused with Santa Claus, who's already married, anyway.

FANTASY: He'll be tall.
REALITY: He'll say he's five-foot-ten, although you'll tower over him at five-seven.

FANTASY: He'll look at no other women.
REALITY: He still thinks Sharon Stone, the swimsuit model in Sports Ill, and the young babysitter down the street all want to meet him.

FANTASY: You'll be in his every thought.
REALITY: He'll spend half his life obsessing about a receding hairline, the other half rehashing the latest game on ESPN.

FANTASY: He'll be witty.
REALITY: He'll still tell knock-knock jokes.

FANTASY: You'll share the same interests.
REALITY: He'll cancel a romantic evening with you for a tractor pull.

FANTASY: He always walk beside you, smother you with kisses, and give you unconditional love.
REALITY: Now you've got him confused with the family dog!