I
Don't Want To Be A Doctor Because...
If I were a pathologist I'd be in a dead end job.
If I were a biologist I'd be in jeans all the time.
Anesthesiology would put me to sleep.
Cell specialists are too cultured for my taste.
I can't stand podiatry.
I can't see myself as an ophthalmologist.
I'm too old to be a gerontologist.
I would have to be crazy to become a psychiatrist.
But a friend told me that oncology would grow on me.
I'm told pediatrics is child's play!
I haven't got the heart to be a cardiologist.
And they'd
see right through me if I went into radiology.
And I really couldn't face it if I were a dermatologist.
I haven't got the spine to be a chiropractor.
I'm not cut out to be a surgeon.
If I weren't such a baby, I'd become a gynecologist.
It's been drilled into me that I should be a dentist.
I'd rather be a plumber than a urologist.
Signs You're A Bad Surgeon General
- You've got a pack of Marlboros rolled up in your lab coat sleeve.
- You never appear in public without a half-empty bottle of Bacardi rum.
- Morning, noon and night, you can be found wandering around in a hospital gown.
- Always confusing defibrillator with fry-o-lator.
- You thought "Chicago Hope" was going to be a hit.
- Your medical degree is from that correspondence school endorsed by Sally Struthers.
- Instead of flu vaccine, you recommend so-called "flu-proof socks".
- You smoke like a chimney and drink like a Kennedy.
- You spend your entire day doing the very thing you said should be taught in school.
- Your cure
for heart disease: Zima.
