• Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.
• Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.
• Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of Poland.
• When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing with yarn.
• Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets and nine suicide bombs.
• What you thought was "heat" is actually a four-legged goose step.
• Well, *somebody* subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.
• Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals "tattoo" to be blueprint of the UN Building.
• Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.
• Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out "Drop the car keys and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head."
• Then -- dead mice in the kitchen. Now -- dead third world dictators in the basement.
• Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some kind of "land mine" technology.
• Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.

• Has recently been acting somewhat... aloof.
• What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies.
• Somehow, you're now subscribed to "Pussy of Fortune" magazine.

Cat True-isms
After dark, all cats are jaguars.

Never, ever try to baptize a cat.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get a cat to pull a sled.

A cat knows your every thought. It doesn't care. But it knows.

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I will put shoes on my cat ...

Most people with cats, know they are being controlled. That's the horror of it ...

Never try to out stubborn a cat.

Thousands of years ago ,humans worshiped the cat. They have not forgotten this

Whenever I bathe my cat, it takes an hour to get the fur off of my tongue.

I prefer to live with Feline Sapiens, thank you very much.

(picture of a fat tabby on a couch , looking at his owner) "My species domesticated your species... "