- At lunch
time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer
at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself
over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
- Every
time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put your
garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
- Put decaf
in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone is over their caffeine
addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the
memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
- Finish
all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
- Don't
use any punctuation marks.
- As often
as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Ask people
what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
- Specify
that your drive-through order is "to go".
- Sing along
at the opera.
- Go to
a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
- Put mosquito
netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
- Five days
in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're
not in the mood.
- Have your
coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
- When the
money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!"
"3rd time this week!!!!!"
- When leaving
the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for
your lives, they're loose!!"
- Tell your
children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have
to let one of you go."
And the final
way to keep a healthy level of insanity...
Send this
e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or
asked you not to send them stuff like this.
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