- Make
race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
- Blow
your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other
passengers.
- Grimace
painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut
up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
- Whistle
the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
- Sell
Girl Scout cookies.
- On
a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
- Shave.
- Crack
open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got
enough air in there?"
- Offer
name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
- Stand
silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting
off.
- When
arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
- Lean
over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
- Greet
everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them
to call you Admiral.
- One
word: Flatulence!
- Give
religious tracts to each passenger.
- Meow
occassionally.
- Do
Tai Chi exercises.
- Stare,
grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've
got new socks on!"
- Burp,
and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
- Walk
on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
|
 |
- On the
highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until
you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at
the bottom.
- When at
least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now,
damn motion sickness!"
- Bet the
other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
- Frown
and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
- Show other
passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
- Sing "Mary
had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
- Holler
"Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
- Stare
at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of
THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
- Leave
a box between the doors.
- Ask each
passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
- Wear a
puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through"
it.
- Start
a sing-along.
- When the
elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
- Play the
harmonica.
- Shadow
box.
- Say "Ding!"
at each floor.
- Lean against
the button panel.
- Say "I
wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
- Listen
to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
- Draw a
little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers
that this is your "personal space."
- Bring
a chair along.
- Take a
bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in
muh mouf?"
- Blow
spit bubbles.
- Pull your
gum out of your mouth in long strings.
- Announce
in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
- Carry
a blanket and clutch it protectively.
- Make explosion
noises when anyone presses a button.
- Wear "X-Ray
Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
- Stare
at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
- If anyone
brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
|
