Optimist
v. Pessimist
An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only
the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist
can only find the negative in the positive.
For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
"I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
Many People...One Parachute
You Are One Of Two People On A Malfunctioning Airplane With Only One Parachute. How Would You React?
PESSIMIST: 'you refuse the parachute because you might die on the jump anyway.'
OPTIMIST: 'you refuse the parachute because people have survived crashes just like this before.'
PROCRASTINATOR: 'you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.'
BUREAUCRAT: 'you order them to conduct a feasibility study on parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under code red conditions.
LAWYER: 'you charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline.'
INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE: 'you confiscate the parachute along with their luggage, wallet and gold fillings.'
ARTIST: 'you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.'
SPORTS FAN: 'you start betting on how long it will take to crash.'
AUTO MECHANIC: 'as long as you are looking at the plane engine, it works fine.'
SURGEON GENERAL:
'you issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous to your health.'
