A blonde pulled into a crowded parking lot, rolled down her car windows so the Labrador retriever stretched out on her back seat got plenty of fresh air. To be sure the dog remained in the car, she backed away from the car while pointing her finger and saying, "Now, you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!!"
A driver unlocking his car, gave her a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park?"
A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Hellooooo," answered the blonde . "They're watch dogs!"
One day a scientist wanted to prove that, contrary to popular belief, blondes were actually smart. To prove his theory he gathered a huge convention of blondes. He chose one lady out of the crowd and began to ask her questions.
"What is 12x11?"
"120?"
The crowd yelled, "Give her another chance!"
The scientist asked again, "What is 6x4?"
"25?"
The crowd yelled, "Give her another chance!"
The scientist asked a final time, "What is 2+2?"
The blonde ventured "4?"
The crowd yelled, "Give her another chance!"
A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window frames on a 50-story building. He was using an electric saw and accidentally cut one of his ears off. A guy was walking along the street below him so he called out, ''Hey, you on the street, can you see my ear down there?''
The guy on the street picks up an ear saying, ''Is this it?''
''No,'' was the reply from the blonde carpenter, ''mine had a pencil behind it.''.
There are three blondes washed up on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.
The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island.
The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a ravishing redhead. The redhead builds a boat and sails off the island.
The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.
Homer, a handsome dude, walks into a sports bar around 9:58 p.m. He sits down next to a blonde lady at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looks at Homer and says, "Do you think he will jump?"
Homer says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed 20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her 20 dollars to Homer and said, "Here is your money."
Homer replies, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."
