"During the debate, Bush was asked by a lady to name three mistakes he's made. Bush responded, 'This debate, the last debate and the next debate.'" —Bill Maher

"President Bush is going to establish elections there in Iraq. He's going to rebuild the infrastructure. He's going to create jobs. He said if it works there, he'll try it here." —David Letterman

"Bush bragged that more Iraqis say their country is on the right track than Americans say our country is on the right track. Boy, there's a campaign slogan for you — 'America: More F*cked Up Than Fallujah!'" —Bill Maher

"John Kerry said if President Bush is re-elected, he might bring back a military draft. When asked, Bush said, 'Trust me, even if I bring back the draft, there are plenty of ways to get around it.'" —Conan O'Brien

"Campaigning in Iowa yesterday President Bush vowed he will not raise taxes in the next four years. He said I believe it is hard, very difficult to raise taxes when you are not president." —Craig Kilborn

California's Letter of Secession

Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving you. California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the North East States, and the urban half of Ohio.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then. God is going to give us the Pacific Ocean and Hollywood. In addi! tion, we're getting San Diego. (Sorry, that's just how it goes.) But God is letting you have the KKK and country music (except the Dixie Chicks).

Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to need all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in Falujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.

So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and we get the Governator and stem cell research. (We would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands, though. She IS from the south, right?)

Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with your own late night TV shows because we get MTV, Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You get... well, w! hy don't you ask your people at Fox News to come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you should just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny show.)

We wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.

Sincerely, California

George W. Bush Anagrams

He grew bogus
Bush ego grew
Where bugs go
Whose bugger?
"W": he bugs Gore
.g. bug whores?
Ugh! Sewer bog!
Bugger, who's 'e?
Ogre hugs web

Other related anagrams

President George "Dubya" Bush:
Ego upset by greed and hubris

USA President George Bush:

Ass...one stupid bugger here!
Huge, depressing saboteur

The Republican Party:

Try neat, happier club
Buy that pearl, Prince!
Entire rat club happy!
Aren't public therapy
Republicans / Democrats:
Superb morals? Accident!
Cured satanic problems
Products enable racism