Tap,
Tap, Tap
Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the
car and started it up.
After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly.
The passenger screamed, "Look at he window. There's an old ghost's face there!"
The driver sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window.
The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?"
The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"
The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to the driver, rolling up the window in terror.
A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again.
The driver
said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry; the speedometer
says we're doing 80 now."
All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared.
"There he is again," the passenger yelled.
He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?"
"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked.
The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!"
They were driving about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more tapping.
"Oh my God! He's back!" The passenger rolled down the window and screamed in stark terror, "WHAT NOW?"
The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"
Top Signs Your Too Old For Trick Or Treating!
You ask to use the washroom every two houses.
You lose your teeth bobbing for apples at Halloween parties.
You get winded from knocking on the door.
You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
You ask for high fiber candy only.
When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
Halloween Tombstone Sayings
Justin Tyme
Yetta Nother
Barry A. Live
Dawn Under
Ted N. Buried
Yul B. Next
Bill M. Later
Lefty B. Hynde
Kerry M. Off
Fester N. Rott
Reid N. Weep
Sue D. Bum
Jess Gough
Barry M. Deep
U.R. Gone
Otta B. Alive
Mummy B. Ware
Will B. Back
Berry D. Hatchet
R.U. Next
Dr. Izzy Gone
Emma Ghost
M.T. Tomb
