Apples
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Exotic Fruit
A man walks into a grocery store to buy some apples. He looks around and sees many different kinds for different prices.... 1.47/kg.... 1.97/kg.... 1.85/kg. Then he notices some for $50 per apple. He calls the store clerk over......

MAN: Excuse me..... why are these apples so expensive?

CLERK: They're exotic, imported and taste like all different kinds of fruit.

The man thinks about it.... decides to give it a try, pays the $50 bucks and takes a bite of the apple.

MAN: It tastes like an apple!!

CLERK: Turn it around.

The man turns it around and takes another bite.

MAN: Wow! It tastes like a peach!

CLERK: Turn it around.

The man does so and takes another bite.

MAN: Wow! It tastes like bananas!

CLERK: Turn it around.

Again the man does and takes another bite.

MAN: Wow! It tastes like strawberries! This is amazing!

The man glances around the store some more and notices another bunch of apples for $80 each.

MAN: What's the story with those apples?

CLERK: Well.... they're exotic, imported and taste like pussy.

The man thinks this is an outrageous price for an apple but is too curious to pass it up..... after all, the clerk told the truth about the other apples. He pays the $80 bucks and takes a bite of the apple.

MAN: Awe yccch! It tastes like shit!

CLERK: Turn it around.