Men Know...

.... that Mother Nature's best aphrodisiac is still a naked woman.

.... that PMS is Mother Nature's way of telling you to get out of the house.

.... that if she looks like your mother, run.

.... that there are at least three sides to every story: His, hers, and the truth.

.... never to run away from a fight that you know you can win.

.... how to change the toilet paper, but to do so would ruin the game.

.... exactly how much gas is left in the tank and how far that gas will get them.

.... that from time to time, it is absolutely necessary to adjust oneself.

.... that a woman will wear a low-cut dress and expect the man to stare at her cleavage.

.... that the woman will get ticked off when they do, for reasons not totally clear to them.

.... that there is no such thing as a sure thing, unless her name is Bambi.

.... that it's never a good idea to tell your father-in-law how good his daughter is in bed.

.... that men are from here, and women are from way the hell over there.

THE RULES

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.

17. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

18. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.