A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.
Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."
"You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time."
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."
At a
nearby restaurant we stopped for a quick meal and the waiter brought the
ordered bowl of soup.
As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen Pa stopped him, calling:
"Waiter!"
"Yes ,sir, is there something wrong?"
"The soup. Taste it," replied Pa.
"I beg your pardon, Sir?"
"Taste it."
"But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."
"Taste it," Pa persisted.
"Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."
"Taste it!"
The exasperated waiter finally relented. "All right, Sir, I'll taste
it." Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"
To which Pa replied triumphantly, "Ah ha ... "
A Fine Dining Experience
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner at this elegant restaurant. Their waitress who was taking an order at the next table over, suddenly notices the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, while the woman acts unaware.
The waitress continues to watch as the man slides all the way down his chair and completely out of sight. The woman still appears calm and collected, even though her dining companion had completely vanished under the table.
After the waitress finishes taking the order, she goes over to the woman and says, "Pardon me ma'am, but your husband just slid under the table."
The woman
calmly looks up at her and replies, "No he didn't. He just walked
in the door."
